Money & Values

I’m healing my relationship with money by making it about people and that’s the kind of wealth I want to continue to grow.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I want to handle money differently this time. After winning my lawsuit and getting financial aid again, I don’t want to fall into old patterns of fear or scarcity.

I’ve realized money is a resource, not something to hoard. And I want to use it in ways that reflect my values—especially care, dignity, and community.

Lately I’ve been giving in small ways that feel big.

There are two young Black girls in my apartment complex. I’ve hired them to take over feeding the outdoor cats—a job I’ve done for a long time. I give them the food and water, and they take charge. I didn’t just assign a wage; I asked them how they wanted to be paid. One said upfront, and I said, “Good—you’re your own boss. You get to set your rules.” They were going to ask for $10–15, but I told them I’d pay $20 each for two weeks. They deserve it.

A houseless woman offered to help carry my garbage bags. I said yes—and also offered to pay her and her boyfriend $5 each. She didn’t ask. But I’ve been houseless before. I know how important it is to feel normal, appreciated, and human. They helped me, and I valued their time.

There’s another houseless man who’s helped me for years—quietly, at night, keeping the garbage area clean. Never asked for anything. I gave him $21, everything I had in my wallet that day. It felt good to do that. Right.

I also gave $10 to a friend who’s clearly day-to-day. I almost gave less. But I caught myself. That would’ve been the old me, holding back out of fear. I want to be the version of me who gives the whole $10 when I can.

Only recently did I realize what this all adds up to:

I’m disrupting power dynamics.

I’m creating equity, not charity.

I’m honoring mutual aid, not acting like a savior.

I’m healing my relationship with money by making it about people and that’s the kind of wealth I want to continue to grow.